emphasis on previous post
i enjoyed last night. it was nice because second year, i never hang around campus much, and i never meet anyone new. it's always the same people doing the same thing going to the same places, and i feel like my personality is being drained away from me. i am no longer myself. and it's weird how i really enjoyed the walk because if there's one thing about me, i really like the walks.
it's funny because it's been three days, and i already miss home. i blame it on the blue skies.
If you know exactly what you are feeling, then you won't let anyone talk you out of your experience. Your emotions are running deep now, and this is complicated when others don't seem to understand the subtler nuances of your heart. To them, it's just too much information. To you, it's the very essence of what you are feeling. Be open to negotiating a path between the extremes.
hi.
i'm taking a hiatus from the world.
a lot of things has happened, and each has changed a part of me in some way. i don't know if i've become a better person out of this. sometimes i think, ignorance really is bliss... likewise, i find the more i know a person, the more i hate their ways. and once you really open your eyes, you find that the world is really dark and people wear these deceitful masks. at the same time, you can't be subversive or else you find yourself alone - that's the worse. so i just wish... i could close my eyes again.
... but what am i doing?
maybe things would be different if certain people, one of them being a dirty traitor, weren't having ongoing facebook conversations and thus incessantly flirting even when that dirty traitor has no feelings and is just stringing a certain someone along and that certain someone might actually think the dirty traitor has a thing for certain someone but really doesn't so they should just get together and be happy because i am happy for them!!!!
my day was so busy yesterday i forgot to blog.
remember when i said that it's the end of my expended efforts? i meant it. if you don't come to my things, don't expect me to come to yours.
for people who are missing out on clubbing tonight, it's your loss.
docks is open, all the important people are coming, i have no assignments/exams yet to stress about, the weather is absolutely beautiful, i'm going home soon and all is good in the world.
i do not like anyone, nor am i faintly interested. i am unlucky at love and bound to stay that way for a while. finding a guy who suits me is impossible and i've accepted that fact and i hope that everybody just leaves me alone and quits playing matchmaker. i hate initial dating and awkward conversation that comes along with meeting new people. i don't want to have fun and party and be part of the night scene, i want a long-term committed relationship with a guy who actually knows how to treat a girl right. i am single, not looking... if you're interested, you better be willing to marry me and make babies, or get out of my face.
what pisses me off is people and their inability to try new things because everyone is so damn scared of the world that they can't take a chance. so they stay in their protective shell and refuse to ever compromise their comfort level. no one even tries anymore, to exert the extra effort to be there for each other, to ever live on the edge and just take a risk.
if you really wanted to, you could come... there is always time, and there are always ways and YOU ALL KNOW IT.
but you cowardly hide behind your excuses because it's easier. so don't come, whatever. but don't expect me to be there for anyone anymore - this is the end of my expended efforts.
bad luck! the plan was to get to toronto by 2PM and get to my class in Laurier by 4PM. woke up 11AM, got ready by 11:45 and missed the damn bus because it came early. took the 12:15 bus, transferred to 26 to islington (took forever to come). subwayed my ass to dundas, got lost trying to find the greyhound station and arrived at the bus terminal at 2:10PM. ARGH. next bus was at 3:30... so i waited, and finally arrived in kitchener, making it to my place at 5:20PM. all that travel, and i still missed my class.
and that's my five hour journey.
here's some things i did saturday night/sunday.
touched toronto.
korean bbq.
jumped in front of toronto city hall.
saw 2!
humped bell machine.
drove my mom and tony to no frills.
went to quang's house to visit baby.
MARCUS!!! mercedes's younger brother.
he's TINY!
Umi Sushi for mike lee's birthday
what i hate most about managerial accounting is the need to prepare these stupid cases and participate like hungry dogs in class for marks. i half-assed the case that was supposed to be on tuesday, but instead we got a 45 minute long quiz. come thursday, i still didn't prepare for it so i was fearing for a really bad day.
with the case on my mind, i was procrastinating all day and i ended up leaving home at 3:50 for my 4:00 class... knowing for a fact that i was going to be late. i sped-walked to OB and i ended up being early! then for managerial accounting, turns out that there were no participation marks for the case, you just get marks based on attendance! then i answered some stupid question in accounting class, and now this guy james thinks i'm super smart (he wrote me a note saying that i knew my shit) - i'm really not, but it made me feel good.
i didn't eat a thing all day and i forgot my wallet at home, and what sucked is that on thursdays i have class until 10PM. i was complaining about it and james offered to buy me something from timmies - i said no (because i felt bad) but the offer made my day. and then bonnie bought me a croissant and we had a nice talk about her boyfriend.
in stats class, i was thirsty so kevin gave me his water bottle! and this was the best class because we were all sitting together in the comfy seats (as opposed to regularly sitting in the back of the class with those stupid desk/chairs). me and stephen were playing hangman and he sucks, and i stole muneer's fake armani glasses because they made me look emo (not fobby!) and when stephen tried to get it back, i broke his finger. i was laughing my ass off the entire class and i kept doing the "i fucked your mother" hand gesture. then allen started highlighting people's faces... and i got all my clicker questions right except for one.
all in all, best day ever!
absolutely nothing happened this weekend.
friday
- maggie, chris and vanessa visits me!
- pizza/alcohol at my place... chilling & playing poker w/random ppl
- rev w/steve&van&co... let's just say that everybody got a little action (let's leave it at that.)
saturday
- breakfast @ mel's diner
- shopping at conestoga
- watched Zodiac at galaxy
- all you can eat @ ye's sushi
- driving around w/rachel&van to some club in cambridge briefly... getting stopped by police like three times
- bubbletease briefly... and let's just say, we saw someone from rev. quite embarassing
sunday
- lunch @ terrace
- causing havoc on the bleachers
- granite club rink in the park -watching old white people curling
- taxi to greyhound for maggie, then grocery shopping
- longass drunken night of cooking delicious porkchops et al.
monday
- chris and vanessa leave me!
i'm going to europe!!! <3>me: where's christine. why am i always home alone
lilian: out studying
me: i should be studying too. i have a midterm tomorrow
lilian: because you can study with phone ringing in the background, music blasting...
me: hey, i only got one phone call today. it's a record
lilian: i realized. i thought the phone wasn't working properly
Man, Lilian. Msn Conversation. 2007
"i want copyright! i want a proper citation"
kind of like what's the point of supporting a friend when he doesn't need it nor appreciate it?
it hurts to realize that you've been there for someone, everytime they asked you to, you've been there, even when they didn't ask you directly, you were still there, supporting them. and then suddenly out of no where, there's just nothing.
just nothing.
i've been there every single time, and this time, you did not say a thing. if you assumed someone would tell me, you were wrong because no one did and it's too late. so good luck and break a leg.
i don't know what's wrong with half of the people i know.
they are liars, users, uptight and stubborn, naive and ignorant, incognito, self-righteous, conceited, bothersome and annoying, fake, outright rude, shallow, overreacting, uncaring two-faced jerks, disrespectful, or just a plain bitch.
and i'm not just throwing random adjectives here. if you're all reading this and think i'm talking about you, i'm probably not - but to even think that one of these could describe you, it must mean something, so do something about it.
i understand now that is why you all get along and why i am slowly being weeded out. i began to think it was me and you only helped put me down but not really helped at all. you all made me feel like i was the one being the oversensitive emo girl, but it was really you who made me react this way. but it's not me. thank god i have someone who still has a soul to keep me grounded and to remind me that it's you. not me, you.
