as a naturally amiable person, i have troubles getting along with people and have always wondered why. i've always blamed it on my quirky, brash, not-for-everyone type of personality but today i am putting my foot down. maybe just some people are sucky, sucks of flesh and bone and i've compiled a list of what bothers me about them:
The Texting Paradox - when you make the time to spend with people, they are constantly texting, tweeting or making calls on their phone. however, whenever you text/tweet/call them, they never seem to reply or pick up. it makes it even more awkward when there's just two of you. i can write an entire entry on this and i will provide you numerous ridiculous situations where this has happened to me
Acting different around different people - if everyone treated everyone else the same way, wouldn't the world be a better place? it would, and it's not. some people think they are better than their friends and will drop them like a hat if there are people "more fun to chill with." when they hang out with you, they are constantly on their cellphones, anti-social, glum and just overall, depressing. when they're with these other people, they are suddenly life of the party! unfortunately, when their "cooler" friends are "too busy to chill," these people come running back and you are too good of a person to turn your back on them
Silent Treatment/Avoidance - when you are angry with someone, the last thing you want to do is talk to them, right? first off, many disagreements come about from miscommunication. it's not about pinning faults, just be completely honest and clear the air first. did they have any control over what happened? if not, why waste your energy being angry? think about it from their perspective and gain some understanding before you judge. if you have a legitimate reason for being angry at someone and you don't at one point confront it, then GROW UP. sure, time might heal all wounds but who's to say that there is no residual resentment that may build up over time? people need closure to move on.
Money, money, money ($$$) - PAY THEM BACK ASAP. being a constant lender, it puts me in a very tight spot having to ask my friends for money. it makes me uncomfortable to ask, especially if people are going to get angry at me. if you can't pay yet, remind them that you owe them to let them know you haven't forgotten! it irks me when people stay mum or forget because it's their responsibility to uphold all their credit obligations.
Automatic "No's" - ever have friends you always invite out but always say, "No?" worst off, they say no without giving a decent explanation why. it's like, people are so jaded to even bother coming up with an excuse anymore. then when you don't invite them to something, they get upset. on the other end of it, don't get angry if people don't want to spend money to eat out all the time. food is an underrated yet large expense on most people's wallets these days and i'd rather spend $30 on a new pair of jeans than something that will only make me fatter than I already am
Common Courtesies - if someone gives you a ride, spots you or gets you a gift (whatever it is), say "Thank you" and receive it joyfully. do not expect it, do not complain about it, and be grateful for it.
Gift giving - if you are going to give someone a gift, please don't let it be regifted unless it's something they actually want. put some thought into it, just to show that you've thought about the person and made the deliberate action to get something they might like. most importantly, in the words of Jesus, "It is more blessed to give than to receive."
Rides - never expect someone will give you a ride if you don't ask for it first. and seriously, if someone is going to give you a ride, don't have them wait outside of your house before you start getting ready. take a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast BEFORE they pick you up, especially if you are expecting your ride at a certain time. if they say they will be there in 5 minutes, why don't you put on your shoes and wait by the door?
i've dealt with a lot from a lot of people over the years, and it's these type of behaviours that really draws me away from them. be courteous to people around you, be slow to anger... it makes you a good friend and a better person.
