let us compare my only two clubbing experiences.

1. fubar. predominantly caucasians who cannot dance but have big egos
2. fedhall. asian nerds with thick black rimmed glasses and over-gelled hair with no ego whatsoever

you get too much action in one, and not enough in the other. so this is my justification for pulling away a random dude from the crowd at CUBE and innocently dancing with him (note: not grinding (double note: NOT grinding)), to which he wound up to be a really nice guy. another justification, i'm insecure and i had to make myself feel hot and this was the only way, so suck on it.

p.s. no more internet in mississauga is teh sux0r

It may be difficult to express what's in your heart now, but not because you don't have the right words. Your emotions are so intense these days that you worry about scaring away someone special. Still, it's impossible to hide behind the wall that usually works so well for you. Don't be too concerned if others don't outwardly respond to your feelings just yet. Time is on your side.

so i bought white icing and when it came time for me to actually use it, i realized i had to buy the decorating tip (which i obviously had not), so i was like, screw that, i don't need no tip - i'll just squeeze from the bottle. uhm yeah, that didn't turn out that well because i realized i couldn't even write her name because it'd just come out in big blobs. so i walked to hasty but they didn't have icing, so i'm like, i'll go to conestoga, but then the bus drove past me just as i was leaving hasty, so i walked to 7/11 to no avail, so i took the bus downtown to the shopper's plaza to buy that damn icing with the tips, and i spent like a billion years putting the damn stars on the cake. i did it all just because i felt bad and i didn't want an uggy cake because jaclyn would just criticise it and i wanted it so bad to be nice so you BETTER like it, beyotch. here's the finished product:

these are my spawnings. first is my ferrari horse but i call it "horsey" and next is sephiroth who looks like a transvestite. that was accidental, i swear.

after tomorrow, i would have baked a record three cakes in a span of five weeks. when it comes my birthday, i better get one cake EACH from everybody. marble, thank you.

i am a geek who is not smart. does that even make sense? i've been trying to look at where i stand in comparison to the rest of the world, and it's difficult to place me somewhere and say, "that is where she belongs" or "that is who she is." there are times where i feel wanted, boisterous, pretty, and there are equally amount of times where i feel alone, insecure, hideous. i feel like i should be this smart person - but i am not studious or motivated to work hard. i'm kind of all over the map. i just want someone from the outside to tell me where i stand in the world. am i that quiet boring girl who sits alone in lectures? am i creepy stalker girl or am i pseudo-mysterious hot girl? am i that loud and goofy girl who makes stupid jokes for attention?

since when did i become all of these things that i never was and never wanted to be.