I am going to start a new collection of posts where I ask some high level questions regarding God and Christianity and begin to provide some answers and explanations.

I don't share this feeling openly, but I want to express it now. From the moment I was baptized, I felt like I started a new life and that all the sins from my old life were washed away and I was made clean and pure again. I remember my old life before coming to Christ and it felt like this: darkness, pain, happiness that was momentary and fleeting, helplessness, loneliness. I can visibly measure the difference between my life in death vs my life in Christ. I can't help but feel a sense of blessing that I can relate to non-Christians because not too long ago, I was there and I had the same burning questions about God, heaven, Christianity, Jesus.

I always have high level questions that are never easy to answer. So I hope that by writing about them, it will prompt someone else to think about the answers, further discuss it and hopefully ask more questions. It is important to keep in mind that we don't have the answers to all questions. Some things are just not meant for us to know. I cannot accept that things happen chaotically in the world with no reason or no purpose. Life is not one big coincidence and I have my personal testimonies to attest that conjecture. But if we can attain a certain amount of understanding on why things happen, I personally think it might bring people closer to God.

My first question was: Why did God create different religions?

The unifying belief regarding most religions is the belief in the one true God. Through Christianity, there is the belief in Christ (the son of God) and Catholicism focuses on Mary, the mother of Jesus. Judaism focuses on the law of the Old Testament in the days of Moses while Islam focuses on the prophet Muhammad.

The answer is this: God did not create the different religions to be apart from Christianity; it was created through the works of man. Take Islam for example. In the beginning, there was Abraham and Sarah and they had no children, but God made a covenant with Abraham that he would have a son.

And Abram said, “You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir.” Then the word of the Lord came to him: “This man will not be your heir, but a son who is your own flesh and blood will be your heir.”
- Genesis 15:4-5

For another ten years, Sarah remained childless so she suggested that Abraham have a child with her servant, Hagar. This very sin, the sin of impatience and failing to trust in God, led to the birth of Abraham's first son, Ishmael. God finally fulfilled his promise with Sarah and she gave birth to Isaac when Abahram was 100 years ago. However, this created a split in religions, with people believing that Ishmael was Abraham's true heir and he became the patriarch to what would be the Islamic religion today.

Although people worshiped God, over time, they pick and chose what they believed in and this led to the creation of different sects and denominations. God created Judaism, focusing on the laws and the covenant in the Old Testament. However, the Israelites continually sinned against God, disobeying the Lord and forgetting all the great works that God had provided for them. The old testament was meant to be "prepatory, temporary, limited" and often foreshadowed the coming of the Christ (the Messiah) who would make all things "complete, eternal, universal." But when God sent his son Jesus, people were divided and the Israelites continued to believe that no one else other than the Jews were the "chosen ones" which created the split between Judaism and Christianity.


This led me to ask the next question: Why didn't God step in to stop man from creating different religions?

The simple answer is this: God did not create us to be robots. He gave us free will to make our own decisions and have our own beliefs. Bad things may happen and different religions may arise, but there are things in this world that happen beyond our understanding. We just have to remain hopeful that in the suffering, it may produce faith and bring people back to God.


My last question was: What happens to people in other countries with no access to God?

The answer is this: No matter where you are, God will make his presence known to you. God can come to you in your sleep and completely transform you, as he did with Saul of Tarsus who became Paul the Apostle. For those who have not heard of Jesus, they will be judged by the law of God that would be placed in their hearts.

For when Gentiles who do not have the Law do instinctively the things of the Law, these, not having the Law, are a law to themselves, in that they show the work of the Law written in their hearts, their conscience bearing witness, and their thoughts alternately accusing or else defending them, on the day when, according to my gospel, God will judge the secrets of men through Christ Jesus.
- Romans 2:14-16


It's funny how one question can lead into so many more. But hopefully by continuing to ask questions, we become more understanding of God's ways and understanding of things that happen beyond our control.


"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" - Phillipians 3:14


It wasn't meant to be for this round but I will get my certification for December. The ceremony will be next October. At least Connie is taking me as her guest for next month's dinner, so I can still unofficially "celebrate" with my peers. It's been a rough two days but at least I made my statement of dissatisfaction with the process and now I can rest peaceully. 


As per Priscilla's request, I will update my blog (to give her something to read while she's in this totally boring, not awesome at all, country called Korea). This blog will give its readers insight into how very unexciting my life truly is.

I had a pretty good weekend.

Friday. During work, James sends me a text telling me he is in Ottawa. I had plans with Anne, so I couldn't hang out with him for too long. Coincidentally, we ran into Yusef and his friend at the Byward Market eating Beavertails (as all tourists do!).

(L to R: Yusef, James, me, Nova) - Laurier reunion!
Afterwards, Anne and I went to the gym and then we picked up Ha to have apps at our favourite steak place in the market, Luxe. Former favourite steak place, I should say, because the quality of food had declined significantly versus our experience last year. At least I got to use my ID for a 20% discount.

(L to R: me, Anne, Ha) - taking Anne out for her birthday I missed on Labour Day Weekend

It's chaos trying to get parking in the market on a weeknight. I was lucky and someone was pulling out, so I signalled. Then this other douche steals my spot. Ha was in the passenger seat saying, "Let's go key his car!!!" I thought, OK Marilyn, this is your time to be polite and civil, and goodness will reign. I told him that was our spot, and the guy was like, "Oh, really? We didn't know," like a total asshat. I told him we were waiting for it. The other guys were like shrugging, "Sorry, there's nothing we can do." I was absolutely freaking livid on the inside but on the outside, I looked like I was going to cry. On the other side, a car was pulling out and the guys said, "Hey! We'll save this spot for you." So I had to drive all the way around and the guys were fighting off this other car who was trying to get the spot. The car gave up and I got the spot but I didn't thank those jerks because they were jerks to begin with. The rest of the night I was ranting on about these guys and how I was absolutely done with people like that. Fortunately, good company salvaged the night.

Saturday. Me and Bernadette went to our weekly BodyJam class in the morning. We went to St. Laurent for lunch. We usually go to the Zumba class after lunch, but I wanted to rest because I would be running the next day.

Sunday. Army Run day with over 22,000 participants and 5K starting at 8AM. I was really upset because the partner I was supposed to walk with told me last minute that she sold her ticket to someone else. I lucked out because another friend couldn't go and wasn't using his ticket, so I begged Ryan to do it with me because I needed support. I've never run outside and I didn't train for the run but I figured I could try running it as long as someone was with me. It was a little cold in the morning because it rained all night, but it dried up fast and it was perfect running weather. The path was past the Parliament Building and around the canal. The entire time I was telling myself, "Don't stop! You can do it!" and just praying and thanking God for even allowing me to experience this. It was very cool and I definitely want to do a run like that again with people cheering you on along the sidelines.

Dog tag - in the military, they would use these to identify the dead
Moral of the story? Fat girl ran and she did not stop! It might not seem like a big goal for others, but it definitely was for me and I feel a lot more confident in my own abilities. 

(L to R): Ryan, me after the 5K run
Work week. My week so far has been busy, but good. A lot of my co-workers were asking me how it was because they knew how nervous I was on Friday. On Monday, half of the FORDs went to The Exchange to celebrate Nancy's birthday. After work, I volunteered at the women's transition house and I was helping out this young girl with interview preparation. I was a little discouraged because she didn't want to practice and seemed very uninterested with the program booklet, but she was polite and I hope that she got something out of the session. Coincidetally that night, I did a mock interview prep session with Vanessa over Skype. 

Today was good but busy and a little frustrating because people kept making changes to these financials I've prepared and I had to stay behind for an hour getting everything ready for the meeting with the Comptroller. The morning, the previous Major came to talk to me and asked if I liked it there and if I might be interested in taking the FI-02 position when my co-worker leaves. I must admit this is not the first time I thought about that possibility. It would be a huge promotion and I would learn so much from the job. Honestly, I really hope that this would be a possibility because I love the team, I love the work, but hopefully work loves me. I've struggled a lot at my current position in the beginning because my section is so complex and the work I am doing is so different from my prior rotation, so I'm terrified that they don't see me as a competent worker who is up for the task. Hopefully, that would change with time and with experience once I finally get over this steep learning curve. Hearing that possibility from the previous Major made me feel good, but because the decision is not up to him, I am not going to hold my breath just yet. 

So, life is good. I miss home and I always will, but it would be really difficult for me to give up this dream job. I don't know where I see myself in the future but I know that as long as I have God with me at all times, I know that I'm going to be alright.

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aka Things That Upset Marilyn About Her Friends


1. No silent treatment - if someone is making you angry, say so right away! No one knows you are angry if you just build up frustration inside and not let anyone know you are upset. Unless you know you are being rash, then you should confront that person and get matters off your chest immediately. At least give the other person a chance to respond and make things right!

2. Be understanding - if you hear what you don't want to hear from someone else, your first reaction should not be to get angry. Try and understand the other person's point of view and be a little more compassionate. You don't know what other people are going through 

3. Make sacrifices - if a friend is in town and you want to see them, don't make them work around your schedule. Sacrifice your personal plans so that your friend doesn't have to cram meetings with you in between their schedule. Even if you can't reschedule, then at least be nice about it. Who could appreciate your rigidity? Make plans together with your friend.

4. Give thanks - if someone gives you a car ride or pay for your meal, express thanks. Don't expect people to do things for you. Definitely, do not take advantage of good people who would do anything for you. You are not a King or a Queen and you don't deserve anything

5. No secret friends - why do you change how you act around different people? You are best friends one second and acquaintances another? People will not want to stay your friends if you give them the cold shoulder just because they think they're too cool for you in front of other people. Don't be surprised if they end up giving you the cold shoulder

6. Don't make excuses - if you don't want to do something, then just say so! Don't come up with, "I'm busy," because the other person will just keep trying to organize things with you and you are wasting their time and effort. Would it kill you to be honest? 

7. Don't bite the hand that feeds you - if someone is going out of their way to accomodate you, don't you dare complain. If someone is giving you something for free, do not rush them or guilt them into giving it to you. God said be a happy giver. Also, be a happy receiver!

8. Message back - if you message someone when you need them, you better be ready to respond when they need you too! If you don't, you are being selfish. Don't make up an excuse of being "too busy" to respond because we've heard it before. You are always on your phone like white on rice so don't make up excuses to deflect the blame. Especially when someone doesn't message you back right away, you go nuts. The world doesn't revolve around you 

9. Leave no man behind - never, ever leave someone out. If they are alone, stick with them. Make conversation with them. If they don't know anyone, introduce them to other people. When you have conversations, don't only talk about things that may exclude that person. Ask that person questions to involve them in the group. If they don't respond or they don't want to be involved, it's a different story but you at least have to try

10. Be supportive - if your friend is upset, be there for them and try to cheer them
up. If they are crying, they don't want to hear, "What are you crying for?" Tough love doesn't work on everyone. If they are upset about the situation, don't automatically take the side of the other party and defend other people. That certainly doesn't make you feel better. People come to you to have a shoulder to cry on and express personal details about their lives. The last thing they need is you, someone who is supposed to be a "friend," making them feel worse by not being supportive. And for guys, don't use "I'm not into sensitive stuff and feelings" as an excuse. Man up. It's not about being a man or a woman, it's about being a decent human being with a shred of compassion and empathy. If you don't have that, then you don't deserve to have any friends


As Jesus was entering Jericho, he gave a blind man the ability to see.

The keys to receiving a miracle...

1. SEIZE THE MOMENT
- The blind man called out to Jesus as the "Son of David" 

2. TAME YOUR FEAR
- You cannot have fear and faith
- Jesus cares about us all of the same

3. ANNOUNCE YOUR FAITH
- Jesus stopped for the blind man. Bold, persistent faith gets the attention of Jesus
- Jesus asked, "What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus already knew he was blind. He asked the question to teach the blind man that he needed to announce his needs
- The blind man said, "LORD, I want to see" 

4. RECEIVE YOUR MIRACLE
- Jesus said, "Receive your sight, your faith has healed you." Jesus restored his sight

5. TAKE THE NEXT STEP
- The man now follows Jesus. When you receive your miracle, continue to follow Jesus. If you only follow Jesus for what he does, you are not a true believer. You have to follow Jesus for who he is
- Never stop giving the LORD thanks for what He does

Reference: Luke 18:35-43

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