kids, let auntie marilyn enlighten you with some useful knowledge on something known as "multi-level marketing" (MLM). what is it? these are companies who recruit individual contractors (but for truth's sakes, regular naive people like you and me) to sell products to those who refer to more customers to sell products to, who refer to more customers to sell products to, who refer to more customers to sell products to, etcetera. they market their business almost as much as they market their product and tempt the innocent with attractive, albeit deceptive, incentives. as a salesperson, you find yourself investing time and energy, destroying ties with family members and friends, and sacrificing money from your own pocket trying to sell this product that you convinced yourself will pay off in the end. the only one who benefits is the profiteering management sitting atop this inconspicious pyramid scheme.

does it still sound tempting?

enter Vector Marketing.
the ad sounds nice, so what's it about? no one really knows in the beginning. sounds kind of desperate, having to call to schedule an interview for the next day (one day AFTER you applied no less), sending an e-mail as well as confirming your interview time an hour before. sounds like they really want you to show up. all we know is that they are recruiting university students for customer and sales of houseware items, and no matter what question you ask them, the reply is, "more information will be provided during the interview." well how can i prepare for the interview if i don't fucking know what i'm interviewing for?

so the geniuses lure you in for the interview, but it's not what you expected: it's a room full of potential candidates - and they're all university students. the interview begins here and is a long and painful process. there is an initial screening where two candidates are interviewed at once and asked one or two fairly typical questions and then sent back to that stuffy room packed with helpless, but energetic, hopefuls. the granddaddy, aka the regional manager, aka the Devil stands before you and gives you a 2 1/2 hour long presentation on Cutco knives, almost in an infomercial-like way, asking the audience (note: we are no longer interview candidates, we are now an audience) rhetorical questions and leaving them with shock and amazement at the wonders that is stainless steel cutlery. then he proceeds to sell Vector Marketing as a feasible business that provides opportunities for us "independent contractors" to sell these cutting marvels to customers (who magically flock to you, almost BEGGING you to sell them Cutco knives) and make a base rate pay of $14.75 per appointment.

yum, what else do they tell you?

• this is not telemarketing, or selling door-to-door. the customers come to you! you make appointments with them and you set up an appropriate time to go to their house
• you must pay $99 for the set to demonstrate presentations, or you may rent it but you must put down a deposit. don't worry though, you get your full refund! and the deposit is only "just incase" something happens to the set
• $14.75 per appointment is the base rate VERSUS incentive pay based on sales that accumulates (meaning increased $$$ every week you work there). even if you don't make any sales, your base rate is guaranteed
• they focus on recruiting students because they are flexible, and are adaptable to the classroom setting which makes them quick learners
• how can you afford to pay so much to employees? because they focus their advertising through word of mouth (which they find more reliant) as opposed to media advertising
• if the product is so great, why not sell in a retail environment? because the products are of exceptional quality and are expensive, normal consumers would gear towards buying the less expensive product not knowing about the exceptional quality Cutco has to offer. by demonstrating its exceptional quality through one-on-one presentations, consumers will be more willing to purchase these knives of exceptional quality
• they offer scholarships

HALT. let's get our head out of our asses for a moment, please.
here's le truth.

• if this sounds too good to be true, that's because it is. throughout the entire interview, you can't help but think that everything sounds and feels a bit fishy. i mean, a 2 1/2 hour interview in which the Devil (uh, I mean, Mr. Moawad, they call him) is selling you the business and selling you the product before the second round of interviews? not to mention, the room they take you into is flourished in all of these trophies and plaques - that's smart, i should surround my bedroom with trophies and plaques that probably don't even belong to me, maybe people would think i'm awesome too
• gearing an entire sales department towards a young group of innocent, yet relatively inexperienced university students (just struggling to earn an honest buck in the summer)?
• before you start making presentations to customers, there is a "presentation practice" process in which you practice selling in front of your relatives or closest friends. this is not a practice but a mere tactic to garner sympathy from family members to purchase the knives in hopes of seeing you succeed. you are then expected to contact other relatives to sell to, and are not even given any leads in contacting other customers to sell to
• you are expected to purchase the damn knives yourself at a "discount" and end up losing more money on your own behalf, having to find own methods of transportation to customer homes and attending mandatory sales conferences. there are accounts of pay cheques lost in the mail as well as deposits not being returned
• if you are making so much, why the hell is your office located in this shady place on the second floor of Masamune Japanese Restaurant on dixie and 401?
• 8 hours/day, 3 days of unpaid training. i'd rather stab myself with a knife than waste that much unpaid time learning about them (note: all these hours wasted on training is just to pressure you into going further with the scheme. think about it, who would want all of that time to go to waste?)
• the base rate is paid for the first two weeks. from then on, it's all incetive-pay... so technically it IS commission based. and they spent so much time telling us it's not
• if it's not telemarketing, why do you have to spend so much of your unpaid time on the phone trying to find and schedule appointments with random customers. if it's not door-to-door, why do you have to go to their damn houses and spend an hour trying to sell them crap
• yeah they give scholarships. they pay them out in free knives!

one thing that's not a lie, though, is that these knives are actually quality knives manufactured by Cutco. extremely overpriced though. i mean come on, they're just kitchen knives, not a freaking rolls royce.

i was there for the 2 1/2 hour long interview amist about twenty other university students who seemed smart and competent. i took the interview seriously, as any normal person would i suppose, and was rewarded the job in the end which made me feel good, confident. i had a level of doubt which friends exacerbated by increasing my level of doubt to the point where i had to find out the truth. i feel pretty stupid for being suckered into the interview and momentarily buying into the whole process, although maintaining some form of skepticsm. thank you: charis, priscilla, vanessa, and the internet for helping me find valuable websites by googling "vector cutco scam" and learning way too much beyond my comfort level about Vector's fradulent behaviour. i wasted 2 1/2 hours of my time, and my dad's time - but i'm glad that's all i wasted.

in any case, i quit.

with all this useless information, i could definitely succeed in sales and perhaps overthrow the top management of Vector Marketing and reap the profits like a money-mongering expoiter at the hands of naive students - but instead, i would rather exploit this shady, deceiving, misleading, corrupt organization for what it is. an MLM scheme, folks.

and just a word of advice for you, Mr. Moawad. the only way my mommy would buy this Cutco knife is for the satisfaction of sticking it up your ass.

mess with marilyn, and expect a comprehensive ranting essay.