So for about two weeks since Leana turned 4 months, we've been implementing sleep training and it hasn't been going as successfully as I expected.

For bedtime, we do a whole routine: music, bath, feeding, story, snuggles and then put her down awake in her crib and say the words, "Leana, it's bed time. Your mommy and daddy love you very much. Go to sleep sweetheart" and then leave. If she starts crying, we set the timer for 5 minutes and come back and without touching or picking her up, we say the script again. We repeat until she falls asleep or until 30 minutes has passed. This is supposed to teach her to fall asleep independently so that when she inevitably wakes up in the middle of the night due to teething or sleep regression, that she has the skills to successfully put herself to sleep without any intervention.

Night time has not been a problem, she usually won't cry for more than 5/10 minutes, but nap times have been a nightmare for me. Most of the time she will cry and whine for 30 minutes and it's so heart breaking to just sit and watch the screen and not be able to do anything. Then after all that time, she only naps for 30 minutes. The level of effort seems hardly worth it sometimes.

Maybe the trouble is that we haven't been able to do this consistently either because every day is different and some days we have to go out and you know, live life. And then there's timing. You're constantly watching the clock, trying to make sure her awake time is between 1-2 hours and that she's going down for her naps at the exact "sweet spot" (not too tired, not tired enough but JUUUUSST right) by obsessing over these supposed "tired" cues your baby is supposed to give you.

All that to say, day times have been incredibly difficult and exhausting. There has never been a day that goes by where I thought to myself, "Wow, I'm doing a great job." I worry too much that I am just screwing everything up. I look at other mothers and they just look so damn natural. How can you not compare? Ah well, I take solace in the fact that my daughter is well fed, sleeps through the night like a champ, and has a stellar dad who can make her laugh.