aka Things That Upset Marilyn About Her Friends
1. No silent treatment - if someone is making you angry, say so right away! No one knows you are angry if you just build up frustration inside and not let anyone know you are upset. Unless you know you are being rash, then you should confront that person and get matters off your chest immediately. At least give the other person a chance to respond and make things right!
2. Be understanding - if you hear what you don't want to hear from someone else, your first reaction should not be to get angry. Try and understand the other person's point of view and be a little more compassionate. You don't know what other people are going through
3. Make sacrifices - if a friend is in town and you want to see them, don't make them work around your schedule. Sacrifice your personal plans so that your friend doesn't have to cram meetings with you in between their schedule. Even if you can't reschedule, then at least be nice about it. Who could appreciate your rigidity? Make plans together with your friend.
4. Give thanks - if someone gives you a car ride or pay for your meal, express thanks. Don't expect people to do things for you. Definitely, do not take advantage of good people who would do anything for you. You are not a King or a Queen and you don't deserve anything
5. No secret friends - why do you change how you act around different people? You are best friends one second and acquaintances another? People will not want to stay your friends if you give them the cold shoulder just because they think they're too cool for you in front of other people. Don't be surprised if they end up giving you the cold shoulder
6. Don't make excuses - if you don't want to do something, then just say so! Don't come up with, "I'm busy," because the other person will just keep trying to organize things with you and you are wasting their time and effort. Would it kill you to be honest?
7. Don't bite the hand that feeds you - if someone is going out of their way to accomodate you, don't you dare complain. If someone is giving you something for free, do not rush them or guilt them into giving it to you. God said be a happy giver. Also, be a happy receiver!
8. Message back - if you message someone when you need them, you better be ready to respond when they need you too! If you don't, you are being selfish. Don't make up an excuse of being "too busy" to respond because we've heard it before. You are always on your phone like white on rice so don't make up excuses to deflect the blame. Especially when someone doesn't message you back right away, you go nuts. The world doesn't revolve around you
9. Leave no man behind - never, ever leave someone out. If they are alone, stick with them. Make conversation with them. If they don't know anyone, introduce them to other people. When you have conversations, don't only talk about things that may exclude that person. Ask that person questions to involve them in the group. If they don't respond or they don't want to be involved, it's a different story but you at least have to try
10. Be supportive - if your friend is upset, be there for them and try to cheer them
up. If they are crying, they don't want to hear, "What are you crying for?" Tough love doesn't work on everyone. If they are upset about the situation, don't automatically take the side of the other party and defend other people. That certainly doesn't make you feel better. People come to you to have a shoulder to cry on and express personal details about their lives. The last thing they need is you, someone who is supposed to be a "friend," making them feel worse by not being supportive. And for guys, don't use "I'm not into sensitive stuff and feelings" as an excuse. Man up. It's not about being a man or a woman, it's about being a decent human being with a shred of compassion and empathy. If you don't have that, then you don't deserve to have any friends
