Every year, I get excited at the prospect of inviting all of my friends to do something that I like to do for a change. Every year, half the people show up while others give me bogus reasons not to show.

The main two reasons is they:

a) Don't feel comfortable with the other people, and

b) They don't want to do the activity - but "they'll come after." Michael Luong, I know we coincidentally had this happen last night but believe it or not, I am not talking only about you. Everyone does this.

I don't want to say I am adventurous, but I certainly do a lot of things I don't want to do. I don't enjoy doing a lot of normal activities (dancing, swimming, sports, rock climbing, clubbing, going to the beach, eating dinner one on one, eating out in general, hanging out with people I hate <- I do this often) but I would do it for someone that I cared about. Otherwise, everytime someone would ask me to something outside of my comfort zone, my answer would always be, "No."

So why is it that I always have to say, "Yes" to you where you guys always have the option to say, "No" to me?

I agree, my interests are different from those of my friends. I enjoy karaoke, going to festivals, playing boardgames, drinking beer, eating wings, church, library, coffee shops, science centre, the zoo, sightseeing, roadtrips and throwing special types of parties. No one shares my enthusiasm for anything. And if someone does, there's not enough people to make it really fun. It makes me so sad.

That being said, with friends who always say, "No" to me, there are many who would make sacrifices to do things they wouldn't enjoy on my behalf.

These people never asked for concessions, they just did it because they knew I wanted to. Thank you.

To everyone else: step outside your comfort zone. And in doing so, you still don't enjoy what you're doing, adjust your attitude and suck it up for the sake of your friends. I won't appreciate you coming out to things for me if you're going to be grumpy about it and ruin everyone's fun. If you do enjoy yourself, even better.

Dear __________,

You were one of my best friends. When I pictured my wedding, I pictured you standing there next to me as one of my bridesmaids. We've both changed so much since that time.

You've always put your needs in front of others. Since I can remember, you have always been in a relationship and never gave your friends the time of day. The day the break-up happened, you ran back to everyone expecting them to accept you back after all of the years of neglect.

You've hurt me a lot through the years. The breaking point was on my birthday when I was feeling down and instead of giving me support, you kicked me while I was already on the ground. If you call that tough love, I don't want it. You butted into my affairs with others and I tried to open up to you and explain how I was feeling, but you took his side.

Since then, you've become more and more fake and superficial. You became best friends with a close friend that I introduced you to, and all of you began to party together without me. Was this out of spite? Am I not cool enough? That year, I lost so many friends and I felt so alone. What have I ever done to you to make you want to hurt me like this?

Even though I buried the hatchet a long time ago, it seems like you still have a stick up your bum and I don't know why. If I held a grudge, I should still be mad at you. I'm not mad and if you act like a bitch because you think I hate you, consider the fact that maybe I only hate you because you act like a bitch. Remember all of those fun times we had together? I spent the best week of my life with you and it was the best because you were there with me. But all I get from you now are fake smiles and fake laughs. We talk without really talking. I miss the old you and if there is any way you could swallow your pride and really open up to me, fake smiles aside, maybe we could be friends again.

I know you feel alone. But you don't have to.

Sincerely,

M

You may have noticed that I have deleted you off my facebook. You probably haven't.

I want to let you know that you hurt me. I considered you a good friend before I left for Korea and I would like to know what changed over the year. You've always been the person to tell me your problems and I was always there for you at your lowest. I enjoyed our late night conversations, but I always wondered if you just came to me because you considered me a "bad influence." Maybe you told me things you felt guilty about because you know I wouldn't judge you like your other friends would. Even if that is the case, I am glad you felt comfortable around me enough to confide in me.

All year, you said you couldn't wait to see me when I came back. Was that just pleasantries? On several occassions, I tried to meet up with you with no answer or no reply. I understood we both had busy lives and we were both in and out of the country at the time, but we couldn't schedule one late night coffee shop meeting? It became ridiculous. You did not answer your texts or facebook messages.

Then, I texted, "You are an awful friend."

FINALLY, I get a response. But the response was not like, "I know, I'll try to make it up to you, I just have some serious stuff going on right now" to which I would reply, "I'm so sorry, I hope everything is okay and I'll speak to you soon okay?"

The response was, "Maybe but I have bigger problems to deal with like ____ in the hospital"

That came out of nowhere. Using guilt as a weapon is a dangerous thing. It hurts friendships. When people are sick, you don't use that as an excuse to make people feel sorry for you muchless make people feel guilty.

If you were so busy, then why do I constantly see you messaging others on twitter, facebook, and posting things about Vancouver Canucks? You obviously have your priorities, but if you are going to use your family issues to justify not being able to answer one text message, then maybe you are an awful friend.

When you came back to the country, you texted me to let me you know you were back and you haven't forgotten about me. This was in June. I haven't heard from you since.

I have a lot of things to talk to you about too. I have a busy schedule too but it's all about making that effort. If you couldn't spare 2 hours of your life for a coffee chat, that's fine, but not being able to spare 2 seconds to message back after my many fruitless efforts to contact you? Not cool.

Sincerely,

M

Remember how I visited my old house last week?

Well... now it's a crime scene.