I never wrote down my prayers and I wish I did. I think the first time I realized that God was listening was in 4th year University just months before graduation when I got kicked out of my BBA program. At that moment, graduating meant so much to me and to know that I failed my goal was so disheartening (I really did not want a general arts degree). Alone, I sat on my front porch on Hazel St. one night and cried. I begged God to let me have this one thing, to graduate.


In 3rd year, my grades were low and I maxed out my number of retake courses. It seemed hopeless to pull my GPA up to stay in the program. A door opened. I just had to take two courses in the summer, but one was not offered at school. I remember panicking about that until the very last minute, Carole Litwiller told me I should try to see if Thompson River University had a similar course. I e-mailed her the description along with a Letter of Permission, and POOF! I was enrolled. I was working full time at City of Toronto and taking two difficult courses, one which I had to drive up to Waterloo every week for. I failed Taxation. That meant I needed to get an A in Accounting to stay in the program. You could probably tell I was beating myself up hard about that one.

I prayed to God. The only As I got in University up to that point were the dinky computer courses. There was no way in hell I would get an A and I didn't.

I got an A+.

Sadly, I never thanked God or attributed that success back to God. I think I just prayed and forgot about it, and He answered my prayer and I didn't even realize it. Fast forward to March where I am sitting on the porch. I prayed because I got kicked out of my program. I was already teetering at the cutoff and my grades did not cut it. This is what my unofficial transcript was:


UNCLASSFIED UNDERGRADUATE STUDIES. For that term, it still says it! But I am glad because it is a reminder of my utter fear, anxiety and sadness and in that time, I reached out to God. And did he answer?

HEEEEELLLL YEAHHH!!!

I wrote a long letter to the University explaining my situation, and they allowed me to drop a course as if it never existed. This was a huge exception to make on my part but they granted it to me. I retook the course and three months later, here I am:


This is what my transcript looked like in the end:

And when I thank God about everything he has done in my life, I always remember the time I cried out to him and he answered. It still took a lot of hard work and perseverance, but I knew that none of this would have happened if I had not prayed that night. Guys, our life is an Unofficial Transcript with a list of things in our past that torment us. But that's just exactly what it is, Unofficial. Your slate gets wiped clean which means you have time to change, to see change and to make change in your life. You can either settle for an arts degree or aim a little higher (no offence to arts students, unless you graduated from Laurier) but all you have to do is ask.


Instead of quoting a bible scripture, I will quote myself on this blog:


I had the worst week possible. Insignificant things kept piling on, and I couldn't tell anyone. And then come yesterday, everything was so good. Complete 360... and I don't know what to say other than "Thank YOU" because I am truly blessed. The night before, I cried and I prayed and I cried and I think you heard me.


Snacks. There's a reason why I'm so fat and it's because I have the biggest sweet tooth for treats, snacks and baked goods. I can never turn down an offer for cake, nor can I get all of my studying done without a bag of goodies to keep me fuelled. Working at Kraft doesn't help either. Thinsations is the most delicious thing ever and I never would've known it. Have you tried freaking Rice Thins? I can't go back to regular chips. I need to stop snacking because half the time, I am so concentrated on doing financials that I didn't realize I just wolfed down a bag of mini eggs.


I don't get anything by endorsing products, so believe me when I say this stuff is like crack

Spending. I cannot wait to show you my February finances (I will wait until month end) because I've been very diligent with tracking my expenses. Every single one of them. I am under budget but I managed to spend around $600 this month so far and I realize every little thing adds up. Every Tim Hortons beverage, every Dairy Milk chocolate bar and all the travelling I do. Gas annihilates my wallet. I want to go bare bones into this saving mode.

My automatic Yes's. I go out with people I don't want to see or I do things that I don't want to do so I can see the people I do want to see (confusing?), and either way I end up not enjoying myself. I always tell myself, "Take a risk! Maybe the night will end up fun!" so I do and it never does. Before I automatically reply 'yes', I am going to stop and pause and think about it first. I am not going to be afraid to say 'no' in fear of letting anyone down.

Most importantly, let's think about why we are doing this. I am not Catholic and this is a Catholic sacrament that my church does not even celebrate, so that is not why I am doing this. I am doing this because I understand that you cannot achieve anything without first sacrificing something. How did I get into the CMA program? I had to sacrifice my summers in University to take extra accounting courses, I sacrificed my summer to study rigorously to pass the entrance exam and now I have to sacrifice my Sims Medieval playing time so that I could work on these comprehensive case studies every week. Just because I enjoy the library, doesn't mean I want to spend my life there. It is hard to imagine all of the sacrifices and hardships that Jesus encountered also. But if you don't sacrifice, you don't get a damn thing and that's the truth.

For me, whether it's to become more healthy, save up for a car, or to find some peace and comfort in my life... I can't do it without sacrifice. Start thinking about the changes you want to see in your life and all of the things you have to give up to see that change happen. Are you willing to take this challenge?


If you feel unhappy with where you are in life, then start looking for other opportunities. You can't complain about being unemployed if you don't put in the effort to look for a job. You can't expect every single job you apply for to fall into your lap. Keep trying, take a break and try some more. Even if you feel comfortable where you are now, if it's not somewhere you want to be then don't you have that power to just pick up and go? Of course it's not easy and there are tons of factors you have to take into consider but, how can you sit there and moan about your situation when you have all the power to change it?


Think about it. When you wake up and groan about having to go to work, it's not something you have to do. It's something you choose to do. To all of you secular people: if you don't believe in God, then what do you believe in that guides you through the day? Many of you will say that you rely on yourselves. If you truly believe that, then it means you are accepting responsibility for your life. It means you know you are in control. So if you have all the power then, do something about it and shut up already.


I spent the entire day today trying to pull reports without access, when all I could have done was ask this girl to connect under her log-in. One time, I drove out of my way to get home because I felt bad about cutting in line to make a right turn. On a plane ride to Korea, I didn't get out of my seat once to pee because I didn't want to disturb the old man sitting next to me. I hate asking for things, acting greedy, or being troublesome for someone else. Needless to say, I create more trouble for myself than I save for other people.


The more concern you give to other people, the more you feel like you don't deserve anything. But we forget this one thing: above all, God wants us to look out for ourselves before we can help other people.

"Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit?" - Luke 6:39

A part of helping ourselves is to have the ability to ask for what we want. I have trouble with this and it stems from being spoiled as a child.

Barbie gymnastic? Got it.

Barbie dentist? Got it.

Barbie teacher? Got it.

Let's just say, it's safe to say I had all the barbies that were released from 1994 to 1996. Don't even get me started on the Polly Pockets! When I was a kid, I got everything I ever wanted - and I lived in low-income government subsidized housing with a family who escaped Vietnam on a boat. When I grew a little older and realized how lucky I had been, I stopped asking for things. And even now, surrounded by a group of people I've come to care deeply about, I still feel uncomfortable asking for things. Why? I feel I don't deserve it. What was supposed to be humble has now transpired into an act of self-deprecation.

Many times, I lack confidence and I ask myself, "Why am I so lonely?" or "Why do bad things keep happening to me?" I feel down about things and yet, #1) I don't do anything about it, and #2) I don't ask God because I feel like good things should not always happen to me. Wrong. All you have to do is ask. And then you wait. It might take a minute, it might take a day, it might take 10 years, but you wait and you patiently listen and observe what happens. He answers, all the time. All you have to do is ask.

Of course you don't believe it. Here's a test: write down a list of things you would like to happen. These are called prayer requests. Then, you pray. You don't have to kneel or say it out loud, or recite, "Our father who art in heaven" or even close your eyes. Just present your fears and worries to God from your heart with the right motives and ask him for what you want. It must be realistic, you can't expect him to allow you to steal or move a mountain for you. He will definitely answer your prayers but you might not get the answer you want. Sometimes he will say, "No" and it is not because he hates you but because he loves you. You will understand with time and patience why he has to shut some of the doors in your life.

We were not created to endure a life full of suffering. If you are feeling down, just try praying or at least allow someone to pray for you. I challenge you: write down your requests and see him answer every single one of them.


How many times have you opened up a box of chocolate, going for the best ones and finding oh-too-soon that the only ones left are those nasty orange and strawberry cream-filled chocolates? Did you get overzealous and consume the good ones too fast? NO. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Please examine:

Let's rank our favourites:
#1 - Gold stick - toffee
#2 - Purple one - hazelut in caramel

Now, let's rank our LEAST favourites. You know, the ones that get left in the box until next Christmas. The one your mom keeps in the fridge, claiming it's the "new chocolate" she has bought.

#1 - ORANGE - orange cream. NO ONE LIKES THIS
#2 - COCONUT - I like flakes of coconut but not a chocolate filled with fake coconut cream

Okay, this is a good brand so I am lucky I don't have too many that I hate. Right?

WRONG.

Please examine the chocolate contents:


Let me give you a tally of my top favourite:
#1 - Gold stick - 3
#2 - Purple one - 3

That's an unreasonably low number for the most delicious chocolates. It could just be a coincidence, right? WRONG. Here's the tally for my 2 most HATED:

#1 - ORANGE - 11 *
#2 - COCONUT - 6

Total # of chocolates: 57
Total # of flavours: 12
Average Chocolate/Flavour: 5

So tell me why the BEST flavours happen to fall under the average, and the worst flavour of all... UGH, ORANGE!!!... happens to double what the number should be. Is this an outrage? Let the numbers speak for itself.